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My Secret Swinger Life: 5 Lessons I Learned As A Single Girl In The Lifestyle

Girl unicorn enjoying the swinger lifeI am a unicorn. That’s right...you heard me correctly. I am an honest to god, died in the wool, one of a kind, made for the swinger life unicorn.

I’m sure you’re asking yourself exactly what I’m talking about. What exactly is a unicorn, you might ask? It’s really no big secret, but it is THE most sought after person in the swinger life.

A unicorn is a single woman who is part of the swinger life. Almost every couple involved in the lifestyle is looking for a single woman to share their bed. We are so rare, that we have been dubbed unicorns by people in the swinger life.

In fact, I’ve run across many couples in my swinger adventures and almost every one of them has mentioned just how rare it is to come across a single woman.

The swinger life is primarily couples or single guys. Almost every party I attend or every club that I go into, I’m the odd one out. Don’t get me wrong, I hope I’m not making it sound like I don’t have my fun, because, believe me, I always do. I’m the belle of the ball. I’ll get into that more in a bit.

Traditionally, the way the swinger life works is that couples meet, either at a club or a party, or some other interesting swinger event or resort, and they decide if they would like to play with one another. Often times, this trade isn’t exactly fair and one person gets the short end of the proverbial stick.

Sure, the whole “take one for the team” mentality is not productive, but couples in the swinger life enjoy making their partners happy. In fact, most couples in the lifestyle have stronger relationships than their non-swinging counterparts.

Why? Because of the trust involved in allowing your partner to take part in the physical satisfaction of good sex, without worrying that they will become attached. Sounds great on paper, but most couples can’t pull it off.

That’s why a unicorn is the fantasy of most people involved in the swinger life. I am their fantasy. I know this and they understand that. It’s empowering when you have something that people desire. A three-way is a popular fantasy for a reason!

So, what’s a girl to do when she’s the most sought after creature in all of the lifestyle? Basically, anything she wants...and I love doing what I want.

I want to share some of my experiences with you. I’m going to help you understand the lessons I’ve learned during my time as a single girl in the swinger life.

1. Be Cautious Online
We all know that online dating, meetups, and the like are just a part of society nowadays. It’s literally how people find one another. The swinger life is no different. There are any number of reputable sites and swinger blogs I’ve used to branch out and meet potential partners.

The minute I put my profile online, I was instantly bombarded with hundreds of well-intentioned couples looking to have their unicorn experience.

I’ve had couples email me and invite me away for an indulgent erotic holiday or a weekend where I would be a guest at their house, complete with pool and hot tub access. Sounds like a great adventure, doesn’t it?

In reality, it’s pretty unsafe and pretty forward on the part of the couple to think that I would agree to that after a few interactions online.

When I did decided to meet a couple from an online site, it was always a meet and greet in a public place. I treated this just like any other form of dating. I want to meet you to make sure that you’re not a psycho.

Only after an initial meeting, would I then consider meeting them out again for drinks. Sometimes, I’d agree to meet them at a swinger club, but I was very clear that I wasn’t agreeing to anything.

2. The Club is Your Friend
For me, I love to play at one of the local clubs the swinger life has to offer. It’s a no pressure situation. I know the staff and it’s a comfortable place for me to hang out and have a few drinks.

The beauty of being a unicorn at a club is that you can pretty much swing at your whim. Often, I will see an attractive couple, especially if the woman has an incredible body, and I decide that I would be interested in playing with them.

Usually, I just have to smile at one of them and we are soon talking and getting to know one another. I have had so many amazing experiences there, I can’t recommend it enough. The best part is that if I’m tired or not feeling it, I can go home as I please.

The safety of the club, as I mentioned above, is also a great place to have dates with couples. I consider it my “home turf” so to speak.

3. Honesty is Important
I’m always upfront with the couples that I meet. I tend to be more into women, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love to be taken by a man who knows what he’s doing. I always let them know what I’m feeling that night, and what I will and won’t do. Most couples are more than accommodating. Especially the men, who have fantasized about two women since puberty.

4. Being Odd One Out
This happens often when I’m with a larger group. Eventually, many of the couples swap and partner up, which leaves me, as the single woman, as the odd one out. Since I’ve been part of the swinger life for a long time now, I understand that this is just part of the process.

I look at is as a timeout, a chance to watch (which I truly love) and the opportunity to grab a drink, towel, or mingle a bit.

5. Fun
I love the swinger life and it’s something that I have enjoyed for years. It gives me a sexual fulfillment that I haven’t been able to match anywhere else. Sex is fun. Orgasms are fun. Touching, licking, biting, kissing, and receiving are fun. I can’t think of anything else I’d rather be doing. This year I'm finally going to take my first lifestyle cruise...I can't wait!

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About Adley S.

I'm an avid reader and photographer with a tendency to color outside the lines. You may find me in a bookstore, a museum, or jumping out of an airplane (preferably naked) . I'm into adventure sports and almost anything to do with being outside in nature.