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Embrace Your Kinky Side: 3 Tips For Enjoyable Exploration

Kinky girl tied up on bedSo you're ready to explore your kinky side?

You don’t have to be 50 shades of anything to know that, at some point in your life, you might have developed a fetish or kink in the bedroom. What most people don’t really know is how to best explore this aspect of their own sexuality.

People who embrace their kinky side are often met with speculation and are seen as outsiders. Words like “freak” and “deviant” make their way into conversations about other people’s sexual preferences. Let’s face it, there are plenty of people out there who might pass judgement about you.

This article is not for those people. I understand that one of the greatest aspects about truly living your life is having new experiences.

If you really wanted to jump out of an airplane or engage in some other sort of thrill-seeking activity, would you be viewed as a deviant? The short answer is no. You might be seen as eccentric or a daredevil but never as an outcast to society.

So, why is it that people who want to explore the more kinky side of their sexuality are viewed differently? What are they really doing that is all that different from the person who wants to go skydiving? Really, there is not much of a difference. In fact, people who want to explore their own kink might be more sane than the thrill seeker crowd.

Why? There are a lot of reasons but the most prominent reason connects to our feelings of self worth. People who are more open to their own sexuality also tend to be more comfortable in their own skin.

When you’re own feelings of self-worth are very high, you’re going to find more enjoyment out of your life. Whereas someone who is always seeking a thrill might see their life as monotonous and boring, except when pushing the limits.

There are any number of reasons why you might want to explore your own kink. For many of us, it’s an aspect of our sexuality that we have yet to explore which, in turn, creates more and more desire to get out there and try something new.

A good example, as mentioned above, is the 50 Shades of Grey book that has sold over 125 million copies and been translated into 52 different languages. What does that tell you? It says that people all over the world are excited about non-traditional methods of sexual satisfaction.

Guess what else is good for all the men out there? The primary audience for the 50 Shades book was women.

Whatever your personal fetish or kink might be, there’s a way to explore it that can be healthy or rewarding. Maybe you’ve never had anal sex or you always wanted to explore your dominant side with some bondage? Maybe a threesome, or swinging at an adult resort?

Like anything else, there’s definitely a right way and a wrong way to begin your own personal sexual exploration.

1. Communication
So, you’re a huge Star Wars fan and you’ve always secretly wanted to dress up like Chewbacca and ravage an innocent looking Princess Leia. That’s great. Should you surprise your female companion one night (or morning) by cutting a glory hole in your costume and proclaiming, “it’s time to try the dark side”? Probably not.

The key to exploring your own kink is to make sure to communicate the things you find arousing and exciting to your partner. Whether you’re with someone you know or a professional companion, it’s important that each person be made aware of what they do and don’t like.

You just might be surprised at how receptive your partner is (the pros have seen quite a bit) to the thought of doing something out of the norm.

What you shouldn’t do is just spring it on them while you are in the throws of passion. If you’ve always wanted to tie someone up in the bedroom, talk about it first. Just because it’s something you want to do, doesn’t mean that your partner is up to the challenge.

2. Start Slow
So, you’ve decided you want to explore the limits of your own kink. Good for you. I fully support people finding their own forms of sexual gratification.

Exploring your kink isn’t like other “new” activities you might participate in. This is not a jump right in type of activity. This is a dip your toes in the water first to see how it feels kind of adventure.

Realistically, when exploring your own kink, you have the benefit of time. There’s no coupon that will expire, so there’s no rush in taking your time.

If you want to explore some bondage, start light. Take a silk scarf and just tie your partner’s hands together lightly and allow yourself to ease into your role as a dominant.

As you become more comfortable with the process, then you’ll start to take it progressively further until you find what really turns you on.

3. Find a Neutral Place
For many people, there’s nothing like the comforts of your own home. However, when you’re in your own home, you are also surrounded by the other facets of your daily life.

That’s why so many people find enjoyment and sexual fulfillment while on vacation. They aren’t encumbered by the stresses of their daily lives and are, therefore, much more open to new adventures.

It can be a simple as renting a hotel room for the night, turning off your phones and just allowing the night to unfold uninterrupted. For others, you might want to take your exploration to a more distant destination.

Whatever your particular kink might be, you’re not as strange as you might feel for wanting to explore it. In fact, you might just find yourself a happier, more satisfied person in the long run.

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About Adley S.

I'm an avid reader and photographer with a tendency to color outside the lines. You may find me in a bookstore, a museum, or jumping out of an airplane (preferably naked) . I'm into lifestyle activities, adventure sports and almost anything to do with being outside in nature.