Sex In Movies VS. Sex In Real Life

Couple having sex in a movieDoes your sex resemble the sex you see in movies?

The two of you gaze longingly into each others eyes, you gently kiss her neck and she almost immediately explodes in orgasmic bliss from just a single touch. She is instantly ready and you push yourself inside her and she instantly explodes in wave after wave of powerful mind boggling climax.

I’m sure that you’ve seen this scenario play out once or twice in the movies, but how many times has this actually been the case for you in real life? I’m not doubting the fact that you’ve been in a situation where a woman has had a powerful orgasm. In fact, if you haven’t had that experience at this point in your life, you are surely missing out.

What I am saying is that the movies make sex, like many other subjects, unrealistic. Why? Simple. They have a limited about of on screen time to add a sex scene into a movie and they don’t want to waste ten minutes of film on two people just sitting on a couch making out.

The movie industry makes their living in the make believe world. While it’s easy for most people to understand that the guy firing blindly over his back and hitting every bad guy target is purely fictional, when it comes to sex, the expectations are somewhat different. Why is that? Why are we unable to understand that most scenes in  movies are simple exaggerations of real life?

This can be tough when in the bedroom. Especially when you are having sex for the first time with someone new. The movies have created a false expectation of what sex is really like for most people.

Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not trying to suggest that some of what you see isn’t a reflection of reality. What I am saying is that most of the sex you see in the movies is not what is reflected in reality.

It is the job of directors to create a fantasy world, one where the viewer is transported into whatever world they are trying to create. They want you to be attached and engaged in the fantasy, so they’re not likely to include something more realistic.

In the movies, every guy is a sex god and every woman is a quivering pile of orgasmic satisfaction. Again, I’m not trying to suggest that sexual encounters like these don’t happen. What I’m saying is that real life sex is a little less smooth and a lot more chaotic than the film industry might have you believe.

So, what are some of the biggest misconceptions about sex that the movie industry likes to portray? I’ve compiled a small list of some of them.

1. The Sounds of Sex are Absent
While I understand that there’s a need for a soundtrack and some discretion (movies don’t want to sound like porn), there is a surprising absence of the actual sounds of sex in movies.

When you are in the throws of passion and especially when you’re having some very steamy and rigorous sex, there are certain sounds that you will hear. It’s akin to the old philosophical riddle about a tree falling in the woods when nobody’s around.

During sex, there are two people whose bodies are coming together and apart with some intensity. You can’t have that action happening in silence. The movies completely leave that part out. I’m not sure why. Those sounds are some of the best parts of being involved in a sexual adventure with another.

2. Sounds Part II
Speaking of sounds, some women give quite the performance right from the start during their sex scenes. I’m no stranger to screaming women engaged in a passionate and intense sexual encounter but it usually takes a bit of time to get to that point with some expert foreplay.

3. Duration
A quickie should be much longer than the ten to twenty seconds the movies want you to believe is needed. I get they’re pressed for time, but even for a “quickie” to be good, you need a little warm-up time (especially for us ladies). I don’t know many people beyond pubescent teenage boys who only need 15 seconds to orgasm.

4. Oral Sex Please
One of the most enjoyable sexual acts is commonly left out of the movies, with the exception of the odd punchline in a goofball comedy. Some movies have the occasional blowjob and even fewer have any good old fashioned female oral satisfaction.

5. Missionary Rules
Don’t get me wrong here, I’m a fan of the missionary position and every other position for that matter, but in most of the movies, especially the romantic ones, missionary position sex is the only sex.

How many couples rely solely on the missionary position? One of the best parts of the casual hookup is the multitude of positions you get to try because you have not established any sort of pattern or routine. If you haven't made trying multiple positions a priority in the bedroom you better add it to your sex bucket list.

6. Clothing (not) Optional
I get that many stars will not do nude scenes. One of the best parts of sex with another person is being completely naked. What guy in his right mind doesn’t want to see his partner’s exposed breasts?

Not to mention the post coital interactions. Why is every woman completely covered up to the neck immediately after sex? Part of the fun of a satisfying session is lying naked together afterwards, touching, rubbing and playing.

7. Safe Sex
Condoms and contraceptives aren’t the sexiest pieces in the bedroom but they are the most necessary. Unless it’s used as some sort of joke, nobody in the movies practices safe sex. Safe sex is every bit as hot and erotic as going without. I’m not sure why the movie industry seems to avoid this.

I could continue this for another article (or two) but you get the point. Sex is hot, messy, loud, totally naked and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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About Kristine L.

I’m into travel, video games and have been called a nerd on more than one occasion. My passionate writer self loves dreaming of far off places waiting to be discovered. Someday I hope to travel to every country on earth. In the meantime, I’m happy at a local pub writing my next article ;)