Swinger Party Ideas That Don't Suck

So, you’ve decided to throw a swinger party? Good for you. A great party can mean a night of excitement and naked fun for everyone. While it sounds like a great idea, there are some things you can do to help create that perfect swinger party.

Swinger parties have been around for a long time, and the lifestyle is alive and well. In bigger cities, like New York and Los Angeles, some of these parties are the stuff of legend, with sexy couples meeting and enjoying each others company in many exciting ways.

These swinger parties can be pretty selective, and it is important that you are also selective when you decide to throw your own. Here’s the breakdown on what you need to throw that perfect party.

Inviting the Right People

The first (and most important) thing you need for your party is the right people. You need to make sure you invite couples and individuals who are open-mided, mature, and ready to play. Sounds easy enough, but it can be difficult to find the right mix.

It is important that your partner is on board with the idea of the party. This is especially important if they are new to the lifestyle. While it might sound like a good idea on paper, their reaction might be completely different when they actually watch you engaging with someone else so get that sorted out first.

Once your partner is on board, you need to find sex-positive guests that you can invite to the party. Start with your friends who are in the lifestyle, or who might be curious about attending a swinger party.

After you've exhausted you list of friends you know maybe check out some of the most popular swinger blogs for potential guests. Swing Lifestyle is one I like a lot.

The ideal attendee will be someone you trust, who have experience in the lifestyle. You want as many attractive and open-minded people who understand the lifestyle and want to have a great time. Single women and easy-going couples need to be at the top of your list of people to invite.

Who NOT to Invite

It is equally as important to know who not to invite to the party. One uncomfortable or jealous individual can ruin the whole swinger party for everyone else. You need to use your best judgement here.

If you are on the fence about inviting someone, but your gut instinct is telling you that there’s something just a little off about that person, then trust your judgement. Odds are if you are picking up a weird vibe from someone, then others will too.

You want to pick positive, upbeat people. Those that understand the many benefits of being in an open relationship. Anyone who seems too uptight, or who is prone to emotional outbursts in one way or another should be left off the invite list. They might seem ok at first, but the last thing you want is someone who will ruin the swinger party if things don’t go their way.

Make sure that you only invite people who you find attractive. This might seem a little superficial, but the truth is you want people at your party who have similar levels of sexual attractiveness. The last thing you want is for someone to get left out because there’s just no sexual chemistry with the other people at the party.

Different Types of Swinger Parties

Do you know there are actually different types of swinger parties you can throw? It is up to you to decide on what kind of party you want. Don’t let anyone else dictate the type of party you want to throw. This is where you establish boundaries. Here are some types of swinger parties:

Soft Swap: This is one of the more common types of parties. Couples trade partners for a little play. No penetration in a soft swap, just foreplay and maybe a little oral sex.
Full Swap: Full swap parties are where couples trade partners and have as much fun as they want with one another.
Group Sex: This is the type of swinger party that most people think about. The room is open to anyone and everyone who might want to join in the fun. This is where you will have multiple groups of people all going at it at once in the same location.
BDSM: This is where the kinky side of the lifestyle comes into play. Partners are free to explore their own boundaries. It is important that you establish some ground rules with this type of party to ensure that everyone involved has a good time. Some people might be open to certain acts, so this is where spending a little time at the beginning of the party (or in the invitation stage) is important.
Cuckold / Cuckquean: This is a simple concept. One partner has sex with another person or multiple people while their partner watches. Many people like the voyeuristic aspect of this type of party and it can be just as exciting to watch as to participate for many people.
Key Party: One of the more traditional types of parties is a key party. This was more popular years ago but why not bring it back at your swinger party. Basically, everyone puts their keys in a bowl and the keys you draw are the partner you start with. This is where making sure that you have attractive people and couples on the guest list is important. There’s a lot of trust involved in this one because your partner is chosen through random chance.
Open Ask: If you are somewhat new to the lifestyle, or you have guests coming who are new, then the open ask type of party will work best. People are free to mingle and then they can choose different partners by asking them to play. This is where ground rules and maturity are important, so that people understand there is no pressure and they can say yes or no as they choose.

A Good Swinger Party is Still a Party at Heart

It is important to remember that you are hosting a party, even if the desired outcome is sex. The best parties aren’t solely focused on the sex, although that is a big focal point. Your guests need to enjoy each others company before things really start moving in the ultimate direction of the evening.

When your guests first start to arrive, take them on a tour of the area. Show them where they can set their coats and purses, and show them the designated play areas (if you are going to have designated play areas).

Having a little bit of food and some alcohol is important here too. This will give your guests a chance to unwind a bit, have a drink, and create that relaxing atmosphere that you ultimately want to have a successful party.

Party Ideas

Once you have everything established, you might want to consider the different type of theme you might want for your party. Everyone loves costumes, and a themed party is the perfect way for your guests to channel their alter-ego sex god / goddess. Here are some popular themes:

Masquerade: Sure, most people in the lifestyle have seen Eyes Wide Shut, but a masquerade party is a great way to create that sexy atmosphere for your party. There’s just something about the perceived anonymity that can really help people let go and have fun. This is easy for your guests since they don’t need an elaborate costume. They can dress however they want as long as they have a mask. It’s a good idea to hit the local party supply shop and pick up a few different masks (you can find them pretty cheap on Amazon) for anyone who might have forgotten.
Alternate Clothing: Your guests can show up in any type of covering that isn’t clothing. This is a great time for them to break out the caution tape leftover from Halloween, or any other common household items and create something they can wear. The beauty of this type of party is that usually there isn’t too much material used, so the added skin helps put the party on the right track.
Pimp and Ho: This is one of the staples of the themed swinger party ideas. The men get to dress up in their best pimp attire (and the women too), and the ladies can break out their sexiest outfits. All the sexy costumes are a great way to get the sexual energy level of your party started right. It’s been done to death, so try to think of a creative way to do this one. Reverse the roles, where the women come as the pimps and the men have to be in the sexy outfits.
Superhero / Villain: This is a great excuse to break out that old costume that’s been sitting in the closet collecting dust. People can come as a favorite superhero or villain and they are free to create their own (Cleavage Girl to the rescue).
Back to School: This is another of the fantasy staples. Want to be a naughty schoolgirl? This is an easy option because most people have these outfits already. Who wouldn’t love to see a powerful woman in high heels and a sexy pencil skirt? Sign me up.

Play Some Games

To help break the ice, you and your guests can play a few games to get the party started. You can go old school and play a round of spin the bottle, strip twister, or even “never have I ever” to see who the real freaks are.

One of the most original games you can play is a scavenger hunt type of game. This takes a little pre-planning, but it is a great ice breaker. Players have to find objects around the area or on other players (i.e. find someone with a nipple ring).

You can get creative and take a classic game that’s relatively easy to play and put a sexy twist on it. Jenga pieces are great platforms to write dares, commands, and other fun activities. The point is just to get people relaxed, having fun, and build some of the sexual tension. Everything else will eventually fall into place.

Set Ground Rules

The best swinger parties are the ones where nobody has to worry about doing something they don’t feel comfortable doing. Meet with the guests before the party really takes off and go over the ground rules with everyone. A few samples here are:

No Means No: Let your guests know that anyone can say no or stop at any time they want.
Respect Property and the Location: Guests should be respectful of the property of others and the location where the event is taking place.
Respect the Rooms: If you have designated rooms for certain activities, make sure the guests use them for their intended purpose.
Protection: Tell the guests that condoms are a must. Make sure as the host, you have plenty of condoms and lube available for everyone.
Violators Must Leave Immediately: Nobody wants to come across as a buzzkill, but let your guests know that any violations of the rules will be cause for them to immediately leave the party. There are no second chances here.

Your swinger party can be the best experience for everyone involved if you take a little time to plan ahead and create an environment that you truly want. A little planning goes a long way and you’ll absolutely love your next party if you take the time to cover all your bases. With proper planning, all you have to worry about is having fun.

You can read more about my experience in the swing lifestyle as a single girl.